“When I was on the swings today, Abby came up to me and Teresa and said she hated us,” Izzy told me one day after school. "Wow, hates a strong word," I replied. Izzy then told me that Teresa didn’t know what the word "hate" meant so she explained to her that it meant Abby didn't like them anymore.
The next day…
I asked Izzy, "So whatever happened to Abby? Is she still not talking to you and Teresa?" “No, we’re friends again,” Izzy answered happily. "But I thought she said she hated you two?" I asked. “MOM, sometimes people say things they don’t mean. It’s okay. We’re friends again,” my daughter answered as if to say, "Duh!"
Well, as you know, sometimes for an adult it’s not so easy to forgive and forget. But it’s amazing to see how children don’t hold grudges. A lesson we too often forget because by holding onto grudges and not forgiving, we tend to only hurt ourselves. We’re human, not perfect. Sometimes people say things they don’t mean. And as humans we always have a choice: we can sulk and let it eat away at us or we can be the better person and let it go. I'm choosing to let things go.
2 comments:
I dread the day that someone says something like this to my girls...I'm so bad at holding grudges. I don't want to, but in the back of my mind I don't let it go. We should follow the examples our kids set (sometimes!).
Hi Jennifer,
You'd be amazed how mean and hurtful some kids can be. Sadly, I hear it only gets worse as they get older. That's why it so important to not let our kids see us upset. And yes, I know it's hard. Trust me...my protective mother instincts always want to kick in. But letting go teaches our children that life is too short and precious to let someone zap the happiness out of them. And with that they will learn...that they are the only ones who can determine their own happiness.
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